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The last thing to know about talking to women in situations like this is your body language. There are several techniques in controlling your own body language that make you look open, non-threatening, and at the same time, being on sexual display. Although you cannot control who becomes attracted to you, when you do this, the odds are that someone, sometimes several someones, will become attracted to you when you do this. Don’t approach any
Men, in these situations, are just hanging out, bonding, gabbing, whatever. But women. Women are engaging in something complicated and specific with unwritten, yet rigid, rules of behavior. Break the rules and you will be ostracized. And common sense doesn’t apply.
A Woman's Need to Talk is One of the Key Methods of Manipulating Them
Hold Out the Lure of Validation But Don't Give It To Them
One of the big differences between men and women is men want sex with a woman who cares about them and women want to have sex (only) with a man who could care less about them. But, both men and women want to have sex.
Part of the reason is women are soooooooo insecure about themselves. They desperately need validation that they aren’t worthless worms (which of course, they are, unfortunately). They know the truth of this, deep down and the very minute you give them that validation, they assume the reason must be because you are even more of a worthless worm than they are. It’s sick. Of course, it’s also exploitable. Hold out the lure of validation but don’t actually give it to them.
Women are Narcissistic and Self-Absorbed
What’s going on is women are totally narcissistic and self-absorbed. They also see the world in very distorted ways and are all the time mistaking where things are coming from.
For example, women do not ever want to hear anything about you (sad but true). Women always find this offensive and think the guy is narcissistic (a projection of what they actually are) even if his talking about himself is brief and in context to the situation. On the other hand, if you spend all your time asking leading questions about her and then fleshing out the details of her life, only pausing to add various compliments to her, she will think you are the most brilliant conversationalist in the world, even though you have basically said nothing. You can do this for hours and hours and she’ll never even think to ask anything about you. It’s downright bizarre and disturbing, once you’ve experienced it. But not as bizarre and disturbing as the effect it has on how they see you.
However, NEVER get in the habit of being a sounding board for women’s problems. This has various, extremely negative, effects on how she sees you. Not only does she become a whiney drain on your very life-force, she permanently puts you in the “no sex” category. Every time you see her, she’ll start telling you all her problems (even making up problems for purposes of drama). This also is so sick and bizarre that most men don’t really believe it until they experience it for themselves.
Talking about her is a tool. A tool to build rapport with her during your first few conversations. It needs to be replaced with something else, soon after that. It’s an example of mapping out the sickness that women have and using that information to work around it. However, like all tools, it is only good for certain specific situations. It will serve in many other related situations (you can always bang a nail with a wrench, but a hammer would be better) and is completely inappropriate for many more.
"It was a fool who said that women are attached to their appearance. Anyone can see it is not their appearance they are attached to, but what their appearance brings them . . . attention, compliments, self-respect, friends, employment, sex, men, children . . . and the list goes on!
I once heard a woman say "I take a lot of care of my appearance, but I don't like to think of myself as shallow"!" -- Kevin Solway
“‘Really, women’s desire is not relational, it’s narcissictic.’ — it’s dominated by the yearnings of ‘self-love,’ by the wish to be the object of erotic admiration and sexual need. Still, on the subject of narcissism, she talked about research indicating that, in comparison with men, women’s erotic fantasies center less on giving pleasure and more on getting it. ‘When it comes to desire,’ she added, ‘women may be far less relational than men.’” -- Sex and Relationships, Bonobo Sex, and ‘Lady Boners’: Is Women’s Desire Really That Confusing? – by Vanessa Richmond
"The second fastest way to lose a woman is to treat her as a sex object. The first fastest is not to." -- Fred Reed
"Women have no sympathy... And my experience of women is almost as large as Europe. And it is so intimate too. Women crave for being loved, not for loving. They scream at you for sympathy all day long, they are incapable of giving you any in return for they cannot remember your affairs long enough to do so." -- Florence Nightingale